Virial Theorem Dilema (Resolution)

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Resolution of problem posed

Problem statement.

Many thanks to Dr. Paul Watts for helping me out with this.

The key to this problem was, as I suspected, that I was misinterpretting the chevrons.

Specifically, this assertion is wrong:

$$e\langle\cos\theta\rangle=0$$

Here, I saw that we were averaging a cosine function over a whole period, and took it to therefore be zero. What I failed to consider, however, was that the argument does not scale linearly with time, why should it! (Unless it were a circle). If one writes the argument in terms of time, the average gives the expected answer.